Posted by : Henry Wednesday, October 23, 2013


There once was a time when the Internet was private. When we could use it as an escape from reality. When we could assume any persona we wanted.

Now is not that time.

In her blog post, Amanda discusses being confident about your true self online. In my opinion, this issue extends even further past self-discovery. I think it is important to remember that who we are online is ultimately who we are offline.

“The days of you having a different image for your work friends or co-workers and for the other people you know are probably coming to an end pretty quickly. Having two identities for yourself is an example of a lack of integrity.” Mark Zuckerberg
In a time where social networking dominates a majority of the World Wide Web, it is difficult to keep anything from the rest of society. Nearly every website we visit gives us the chance to sign in with Facebook or Google, tying all of our history online not only to our real names, but also to virtually anyone who associates with us through any social network.

Because of this, there is an increasing alignment between our online identity and our physical self. What we post is under our real names, and therefore our online persona reflects who we are in real life. No longer can we be associated with something online that will not influence the way people view us a person.

How important was that privacy in the first place? From a moral perspective, it gave us the opportunity to temporarily conceal our identity. But if our identity isn’t consistent, are we really being honest?

As it says in the motto of the BYU Men’s Chorus:
Esse quam videri, or to be, rather than to seem.

We should remain constant in our intentions and our actions across all platforms in the virtual world as well as in reality. When we do this, we show a greater level of authenticity as people.


If we don't, we are deceiving those around us, but more importantly, we are deceiving ourselves.

Take Twitter for example. I have noticed that since the Twitter audience is not as large as Facebook, we often feel free to be more open, or to make statements we would not make on Facebook because we know our parents and our old high school teachers won't be reading them. What does this say about us? It certainly does not strengthen our integrity as individuals.

We as humans are multifaceted, and our individual quirks and differences make us who we are, but these personal contrasts should not be something we have to hide. If we have to take the time to think about where we are posting something based on how the audience will react, we probably shouldn’t be posting it at all.


It isn’t always easy to filter the things we think, and it’s so easy to turn our thoughts into posts. Living with integrity requires active effort online and offline.

{ 8 comments ... read them below or Comment }

  1. I agree with this generally, but would qualify that I think there are often times where I think anonymity is essential. If we required people to always post using their real names, unpopular opinions would be censored, whether explicitly or implicitly. As technology advances, I think we will see this effect be even more pronounced. How would people behave if absolutely everything they did were recorded and accessible either online or offline? Would they give up trying to maintain different personas in their respective social circles, or would they just give up interacting in some circles?

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    1. I think you bring up a valid point. That is something that is sort of scary about social networking: you don't have control of what others post about you or tag you in. And I think if everything was available online, people would cease to be themselves for fear of judgment or exposure. But I think as a general rule, it's important to realize that we have control of how we personally represent ourselves online. I also think that there are definitely times when we deserve anonymity, but on a larger scale, I don't think there should be much need to hide from the people we associate with if we are living with integrity.

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  2. Henry-
    Thank you. That was a very quaint and pleasant read.

    Integrity is a big question for society because people mistake the concept of transparency as invisibility. Your post held us up to a mirror, reflecting this evolution of thought and loss of social decorum and self-respect.

    As I read your article I remembered something that my drama teacher would repeat often.
    "You are never the same around different people. You change for them. Whether it be to simply please the crowd or please yourself."
    This quote can be applied to the online users and abusers discussed in your post. Perfunctory people post online because they have the "safety" of a screen. They can use any pretense but they aren't hiding their true character. People change their behavior to be more accepted by this practically immoral online "clique".

    So Henry, my questions for you: Do you think that this online interaction can change? Do you think that perhaps it is a good thing to know these online sides of people, where the good, bad, and ugly are revealed?

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    1. That is a great quote! It is something we could all think about. I do think that our online interactions can change. To an extent, I think this "exposure" of people online can help us to understand people's true selves, but more importantly, I think that as humans we are all imperfect and we can all do better. I will admit that I am guilty of this "two-sidedness" online to a certain extent, but as I have taken some time to ponder this I will now be more careful about what I post and in turn I will be more consistent with myself so I can be more honest. In my opinion, no one actively tries to be two-faced, but sometimes it happens if we are not careful.

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  3. I like the thought behind this post, about hiding who we are, though I think there is an extreme that we should avoid. If somebody hates the Raiders with a passion, and you happen to like the Raiders, you might not want to bring up that little bit about yourself because of the repercussions that might occur. In the same sense, there are times when we need some anonymity to preserve some protection for ourselves, and sometimes respect from others. We shouldn't hide completely behind a wall of deception, but neither can we be entirely open all the time. Just like in normal interactions with normal people in a normal life, I reserve the right to hide certain things about me, whether online or off.

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    1. I agree completely! I think sometimes in certain social situations or personal interactions, some aspects of yourself are entirely irrelevant. With characteristics such as football team preferences or favorite restaurants or so on, displaying these things contribute nothing to your true self when it comes down to it, although they definitely make interactions in certain types of relationships more enjoyable. But I do think it is of utmost importance to maintain a constancy in our personal characteristics, such as honesty, commitment, morality, etc, no matter where we are or who we are with.

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  4. I would almost argue that it is sometimes better to deceive the internet and not show your true self. Sure, I wouldn't care if someone posted "One Direction is the best band of all time!" That is their opinion, good for them, I don't have to agree with them. However, it is when a fan of the classic Beatles sees this post and feels the need to respond that it becomes a problem. Suddenly, my news feed is filled with an internet fight about something that frankly I could care less about. People just get offended and upset.
    I see no problem sharing where you are, who you are with, or what you are doing on social medias. However, people don't need to share controversial issues or deep personal thoughts with the world. Save those for personal conversations.

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    1. I understand what you are saying. There are certain statements, particularly the ones which carry strong opinions and almost invite controversy, that do not belong on social media. Certain interactions are meant to happen between people and not behind computer screens. But I don't think that is a matter of deception, but rather a matter of self-control. Overcoming online deception, to me, incorporates more than that. It is more about upholding the values you declare to possess at all times and in all situations, even when you are not always interacting with people face to face.

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